Inner Critic vs. Inner Coach
Your inner critic loves to talk,
warning you of all the terrible consequences of everything you do. Your inner
critic speaks from your past and selectively recalls only things that went
wrong - when you failed that exam, when you under qualified for a job you
wanted, when you didn’t get the date with the love of your life. So your inner
critic tries to make your present and your future safe and problem free by
wrapping you in a cocoon and persuading you to take as little action in the present
as possible so that you don’t trip up. And all the negative conversations you
have with your negative critic make you feel miserable and stifled in that cocoon
instead of all warm cozy and safe. And that’s not the worst. Your inner critic
is quite prepared to use nasty tactics to hold you back from living out your
dangerous dreams for yourself. It distorts and stretches reality so that it
focuses only what you can’t do or be. Your inner critic is not afraid to speak
its mind and tell you you’re not good enough, you’re too fat or too stupid.
The good news is that you have
an inner coach, cheering you on to have a go and celebrating your progress. The
inner coach speaks from your future. That version of you who knows how it all
turns out and is bursting to tell you everything is going to be just fine! Yes,
you had some hard challenges along the way and even periods when you felt
deeply unhappy or frustrated. But your inner coach looks back along your life
and sees a great deal more to celebrate – lots of fun and growth and love and
happiness. Even what you thought were catastrophes turned out to be blessings
in disguise. For example, being turned down for that job you wanted may have
resulted in a total career change where you discovered your true calling. And
how lucky the love of your life didn’t agree to that date, because you then
went on to meet the real love of your life, someone who you didn’t at the time,
find remotely interesting.
The job of your inner coach is
to encourage you to create a great future by taking positive action in your
present. Your inner coach wants to tell you that you can trust yourself,
because as long as you take positive action everything will be okay. You can
work out how to deal with any false steps along the way and, instead of feeling
miserable and stifled wrapped up in all that cocoon, you can feel energized and
free, breathing fresh air and looking forward to your next adventure.
You may not even know that your
inner coach has a voice you can trust – you may simply let your inner critic
run on autopilot so that your inner coach never gets a chance to fly the plane.
You can get far better results in your life if switch the roles so that your
inner coach is the captain of the plane and your inner critic has a turn only
in support and under strict supervision!
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ReplyDeleteGreat post. I could not agree more you in regards to the challenges of dealing with inner voice on a daily basis. Every day, I can easily convince myself not to following my dreams and move on. However, I have learned to write my goals down daily and stay focus on the task at hand. Keep the blogs coming.
ReplyDeletePositive thinking is more than a buzzword...it's a physical act which, if you're living on your fringe, must be done daily and sometimes more than once. JR, I like what you have to say. Much Truth within this post. And in the simplest interpretation we can look at the doors which close as lost opportunities or avenues for new destinies.
ReplyDeleteNow, I don't offer this observation as some lazy day distraction from the confine of the office cubicle. I lost my job, moved to North Dakota (oil BOOM!) and am living in my car while I search for the next gig. So when I pry the sleep from eyes and blink with the AM sunrise I can hear that critic asking me what I'm doing with my life. And that's when Coach barks out the answer:
"You're doing exactly what you need to be doing...now knock 'em dead!"
Live Free Or Die,
Jed Dunham, Amer-I-CAN